Throughout the last five years or so I've heard a lot of people say a lot of things about community. I have to admit that I didn't buy it at first. It took several individuals planting themselves in my life, and then refusing to be uprooted, to make me realize we are designed to live our lives intertwined with those of others.
Fine. Yay for community. I love it, I live in it. But I don't always understand all of it.
Recently I've realized the vast capacity we have to basically trash each other's hearts. By we, I mean the Christians. The community members. Those who understand that we are meant to be relational. I can't quite make sense of how living life with others both personifies God's character and then equips us to destroy each other. I don't think we do it on purpose. Somewhere in the back of our minds we remember grace and forgiveness and maybe think they somehow will make up for the havoc we wreak on those we live with most closely.
Now, I believe in grace and forgiveness. But I don't think having a common bond, Christ, lessens the hurt we inflict on each other. For some reason we think that it does; Jesus loves me and Jesus loves you so when I hurt you, you just have to forgive me and move on. Because Jesus does.
Maybe this problem stems from our incomplete and human picture of God. This week I heard someone make this statement: "No one lives greater than their view of God." Right now, this is the only way I can make sense of the pain I have see as a result of living life with others. I know we are flawed and sinful as humans. I know the way we live out Christ's life on earth is incomplete. But the awfulness of when it goes bad makes me want to revert back to my old habits of keeping to myself. So what hurts worse, loneliness or betrayal?
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2 comments:
I've been thinking through some of those issues myself lately and wrote a bit about it. I'm not sure if that's the question we should be asking though--which hurts worsr. They're both going to hurt. Maybe flip it around and ask what is better, from where does more joy spring--being in relationship, being in community or being alone. Also I'm not sure that if we claim to be trying to live the Christian life that we really have that choice. What do you think?
Candace, o Candace, where have you gone? I miss your insightful and at times amusing posts. How's life in Boerne?
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